What's So Funny About Having ADHD?

When I was diagnosed six years ago, at age 49, with ADHD , there was nothing fun or funny about it. I was bewildered, angry, depressed, relieved, sad, optimistic and ashamed. Being

I remember preparing to publicly announce, "I have ADHD," my official coming out. I was opening a meeting of ADD Resources and would introduce myself as an adult with ADHD. How difficult it was to say, even silently, to myself. I sat in my van, with all windows closed, saying over and over, "I have Attention Deficit Disorder." I imagined saying it to an audience of 75 people! With great relief I encountered an audience of only 25. Suddenly, saying I had ADHD became easy. From there I moved on and could discreetly tell non-ADHD people, and eventually, I could tell almost anyone,"I have attention deficit disorder. In becoming public, I became comfortable. I learned to accept myself as a person with a lots of talents and abilities who has a condition which makes a number of things harder from me than they might be for others.

I learned that having ADHD is fun and that having ADHD can be funny. In fact, I recently won the Humorous Speech Contest in our local Toastmaster's Club. I had everyone in stitches as I described parts of my ADHD life.

A First-Class Forgetter

Do you remember those jokes about "When God passed out ears, I thought he said beers, so I asked for two, big frosty ones"? Well, for me, when God passed out brains, I thought he said "drains," so I asked for a large one that would empty quickly. As a result, I have a brain that retains very little. Something goes in one ear and out the other. In short, I have a terrible memory. When I was a child, having a terrible memory was quite troublesome for me. You can imagine how annoyed people got with me as I forgot to pick up my room after being asked for the tenth time. However, when in graduate school for social work, I learned about "reframing." How we view something has a tremendous impact on us. After learning about my ADHD, and understanding how it contributes to my terrible memory, I decided to "reframe." No longer would I be someone with a terrible memory; I would be someone outstanding in forgetting!

I taught my children to do their best, at whatever they undertook. Following this principle, I determined to become the best forgetter that ever lived! I have attended five national conferences for adults with ADHD , and, I have to tell you, there is some tough competition for the title of "First-Class Forgetter." But without any false modesty, I think I place in the top 100. Let me give you some examples of my forgetting skills. Let's talk about cars.

I am sure we all have stories about buying gas and forgetting the gas cap when we drove off. Or forgetting the credit card, after when purchasing the gas. But how many of you have driven off, paying for the gas, but not pumping it or, driven off, while the pump is in the tank, still pumping gas? Novice level forgetting!

As a first-class forgetter, I paid for the gas, but didn't pump it. I drove home, less than a mile away, and noticed the gauge registered empty. I thought to myself, "The gas gauge is broken because I just filled the tank." Hurriedly, I drove back to the station, thinking that I would get the gauge repaired before my husband found out. Just as I started to tell Joe, the station attendant, about my broken gauge, he said, "I wondered when you would return for the gas you purchased." Then he added, "By the way, here's the credit card you left behind."

How many of us have car key stories? Can't find them when you need them? Don't remember when you last had them? Since I trained myself to keep my keys in my purse when not in the ignition, and I trained my husband and other family members, never, on pain of death, to use my keys, I have had little problem with lost car keys. Oh sure, there is the "occasional" time of having them in hand when shopping, then putting them down in some god-forsaken, and quickly forgotten, place in the store. Don't we all deal with that?

I never had a problem of locking my keys in the car, because I thought my Honda could only be locked from the outside using the key. Unfortunately, when we got a new Honda two years ago, the salesman thoughtfully showed me that I could lock the doors without using the key. Since then, I have locked my keys in the car three times. Fortunately, about the same time as acquiring the new Honda, we joined the AAA. They come and unlock cars for free! Have you ever noticed how many companies are listed in the yellow pages for coming to unlock cars? It's comforting to know I am not alone.

So, to be a first-class forgetter, I had to do more than lock my keys in the car. Fortunately, this past summer, when a friend was visiting from Australia, I proved my worth. We went for sightseeing in the Pike Place Market. After browsing for a few hours, I returned to the car to ADHD more coins to the meter. There was a humming noise. My friend calmly said, "I think your car's motor is on." Sure enough, the keys were in the ignition, the car was on, and the doors were locked. I called Triple A, told them where the car was, and went to lunch at a nearby, wonderful French restaurant. After unlocking the car and turning it off, the locksmith delivered the keys to me. Then off for more shopping and browsing! When I later returned to the car. I couldn't find the keys! Where had I left them? Which of the many places where I had been since lunch? Would we have to retrace all of our steps? We started with the restaurant and, lucky day!

Now losing one's car requires more skill than losing car keys, but I have am up to the task. To save hunting time for a lost car on my weekly shopping trips, I park my car in the same stall, one that is usually vacant. When I have to park elsewhere, I hysterically tell the attendant at checkout time, "NO! I want to take the groceries out by myself." No company for me as I desperately wander the lot looking for my vehicle.

When shopping at Costco, things are both better and worse. There is no attendant, who wants to push my purchases to the car, but there is also a much bigger lot and I buy many more items. It's all right when I leave the store. But after going down one long row of cars, and coming up the next row, heading back towards the store, that my happy look of assurance disappears. "Where is that bleepety, bleep car? I was sure it was in this row. People are looking at me. They're wondering why I'm returning so many groceries to the store."

While vacationing in Florida this past winter, I parked our white rental car in a mall parking lot while I ran a few errands. When I returned, fifteen minutes later, my key did not open any of the four white cars parked where I had left mine. My immediate, panicked thought was, "The car's been stolen." I called over a Mall security guard. He walked to his unmarked white car, (that a few minutes earlier I had been trying to open) for his paperwork. While he was gone, I realized the only thing I knew about the car was its color. I didn't know the make, the model, or the year. I didn't even know the license number or where I had rented it. What kind of police report would that be—white car stolen from parking lot. When the officer returned, I told him I didn't want to pursue it and walked off. When, with a shrug of his shoulders and a quizzical look, he left, I started to feverishly peer inside every white car in the lot. Ten minutes later hot, sweaty, and getting somewhat anxious, I found the little beauty, four rows away. I got in with a big smile on my face, turned up the music, and speedily drove away.

Most of you, being younger than I, haven't had the time and opportunity to become a first-class forgetter. Don't become discouraged. I encourage you in your endeavors. Having ADHD has the potential to provide you with enough humorous stories to last a lifetime. Reframe! Reframe!

Cynthia Hammer was diagnosed 11 years ago at age 49 with ADHD. Her life improved so much after the diagnosis that she started a support group in Tacoma for adults with ADHD. From that small beginning, ADD Resources, a non-profit organization, has now grown to a national organization with over 800 members with Cynthia serving as it's part-time director.